What are we searching for? Many of us are searching for love, security, honesty, looks, money, loyalty, happiness, respect, romance, attention, affection, sex (good sex), intimacy, friendship, companionship, passion, compassion, family, etc.
What are you looking for? Take the time to define what “Love” means to you and values you would like your partner to possess.
The reality is that everyone is trying to find “the one.” Woman want to feel safe…men want to feel respected. Question is: What SHOULD we be looking for? What should love look like?
1.Seek a love that is “comprehensive” aka “LOVE” is complete, including all aspects/elements of something. This means being all things for your partner. (1corinthians 13:4-8 love is patient love is kind….)
The term “Love” is used very loosely. Look at the above Scripture and see if you live out all details of what “love” is before you say you love someone. Are you patient? Are you kind? Are you jealous? Are you boastful and proud?
Love is like building something. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes commitment, it takes work, rework, multiple issues and deductive reasoning to ensure your structure is sturdy and lasting.
If you are looking for love, seek someone who will pay attention to the details.
- Seek a God inspired love (1 John 4:18-21
God will provide according to his will and his plan. Seek a man/woman looking to honor God, respect God etc…because you will never have to ask them to give you the same, because if they are seeking and honoring God they will readily offer you that to please HIM. The capacity of your grace grows while you are on your needs praying to God. A direct reflection of how you treat people shows your relationship with God or where you are in your journey with Him.
- Look for someone willing to do the work (Romans 12:10)
Celebrate in each other. Work with each other not against each other. If they show you they aren’t willing to do the work leave them alone. Dating is meant to find out if you want to walk this journey with forever and if it “doesn’t work out” then it did workout because praise God you saw it before you fell into lifelong. Do you honor your woman/man? It should give you joy to honor your partner. It takes work. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by doing good. Simply put this means: Do not play fire with fire. That’s not the kind of partner you want, so do not be that kind of partner. Majority of disagreements are not arguments. Find someone who acknowledges that someone does not have to always win a disagreement, but each party should be understood. Compromise doesn’t mean someone is right or wrong, it means you value your relationship over your ego.
- Seek a partner who is Generous with their love (Matthew 22:37)
Love with abandonment and not guarded. No true intimacy can happen without being vulnerable. Are you holding back? Seek someone who can open your heart, your mind, your spirit and your emotional being, and can be trusted to take care of it
- Seek a partner who is offering Sacrificial love (1John 3:16)
Do you offer a sacrificial love? Would you lay down yourself for your partner? Is this love meant to self-aid or meant to grow the unit? Seek a partner who genuinely cares about your wellbeing, your health, and your success. If your partner has your back, and you have theirs, both parties of the unit and protected. You are responsible for your partner, as they are to. Be accountable to you partner. Seek a partner who understands that value.
Finally:
Seek love within yourself first, before you can give or expect love from another.
Make sure you are first complete, sacrificial, generous, willing to do the work, god inspired and verify that your love is comprehensive. Stop pointing fingers and accept accountability, before you can expect this type of love from another. Start with you: Be the change you want to see.
I pray that I can work on becoming “the one” for another.
Trace my journée 