A friend of mine recently had a birthday in which her mother set aside several different experiences for us to share together, one of which was an escape room. The escape room started off with rules that first we needed to find the light switch in the room and if we couldn’t do that within a certain time that they would auto turn on. We didn’t find the switch sadly because we were too busy talking over each other. Within the room were limited objects, in which clues were hidden or the clue that we found elsewhere in the room, were directly related. We struggled to find the clues and then to figure out the order in which to use them. The group of women in the room was all strongly opinionated women, who seemingly knew it all. We struggled to let each other be heard, but the reality was that none of us knew anything.
I’m not the kind of person who will participate in an argument where I simply just don’t know what’s going on. As a result of that being my personality type I went about the room, with another woman, and just tried everything. I pressed every button, touched every switch, a series of elimination tactics. Some worked, others weren’t fruitful, and that ok. Eventually we all broke up into smaller, different groups, within our bigger group and we found a way out.
After making it out of the first room we found ourselves in another room. Same story, we had to find our way out of that room as well, and luck would have it we did, only to find ourselves in a third room. When the fuck were we going to escape! Apparently we tripped a switch that allowed us access to the third room before we had all the missing pieces so we couldn’t get out. The instructor came into the room and was surprised to see how far we made it before telling us we missed a bunch of clues in the previous room and that door #3 should have never been opened.
Oh well. Mission failed. But not really! There were lessons within the way the game was structured. The escape room taught me, I cant speak for others, that I don’t know how to work well with others, I am self reliant and that I will simply try anything because what do I have to lose. I actually operate this way in real life. I can’t stand around and listen to people bicker, let’s find a resolution. If no one hears me, I am not going to sit around and do nothing. I generally will follow my gut and do what feels right. The group does not easily sway me, which can be harmful and/or helpful, depending on the situation.
The way my life has always been set up is that I have always been disappointed by others, but by no fault of their own, but mine. I have expectations of people, expressed or not, that If they aren’t meant I feel bothered. I’m not sure if the right words to describe that feeling (s) are sad, let down, frustrated, but something to this effect. The escape room highlighted my communication issues, lack of dependency on others. I really do suffer from this and why my intimate relations often fail is because I don’t depend on anyone because I have always felt let down so to prevent that feeling I do it myself. On the flip, I expect too much to fill voids I have within me that no one can possible fulfill and once again feel disappointed. That’s what brokenness looks like. I also retreat when I don’t feel like I can deal with another person’s energy.
The instructors tell you before you start the challenge that the ugly traits within us will be exposed, and they weren’t kidding. I am now, outside of that escape room, learning how to escape myself and learning to be a better, more effective communicator, learning to digest energies and simply discard what doesn’t serve me, but also learning that if realistic expectations aren’t set and communicated you will always be disappointed. Shout out to Thriller City escape rooms NYC for having us and for teaching me a little deeper about myself and the way I navigate the world. Lessons are all around us.
Trace my journée 