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 “She refused to let it break her. She faced tragedy, she felt pain, yet it only made her stronger.”- r.h.sin

The last few weeks have been some of the most trying times I have gone through thus far in life. You ever feel like a mouse in maze? You think you are finally making headway, only to turn you victory corner and find a wall? Trying to find your way to the cheese is probably the hardest thing, especially because of the roadblocks. You rack your brain to seek alternative methods to get things done. You try and fail, try again. You can’t give up because your livelihood depends on it, so you just keep trying, failing, trying and failing?  The ladders get longer, the list of things going wrong grows, the days seemingly get shorter and you can’t find time to complete all the tasks.

You’re dying inside and no one seems to understand or is empathetic. They tell you “It’s going to be ok,” “This is for the best,” “Whatever it was wasn’t worthy of you” and while you know this is true, because you’re so deep in the struggle and can’t see the light. You wonder, just for a second, if this is true. Will it work itself out or will this be the one in a million chance it doesn’t work out. The stress is overwhelming. You cry deeper and harder than your being has ever cried before. How did this happen? You live by the book, follows rules, yet somehow you find yourself up shits creeks without a paddle. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but while you’re in it you’re already dying, slowly.

I don’t know about the rest of you but when I get stuck like this I pray, I try not to curse God because this is his plan. I ran across this prayer, ofcourse because God is always right on time, and it reads, “I just pray that God opens my eyes to see more. Sharpen my discernment to warn me of those detrimental to my growth, my spirituality and my mental peace.” No lie, I almost want to say I regret that prayer, because once I said it I started losing more things, people, friends, etc. Granted this is Gods way, or if you don’t believe in God, then this is life way to remove all negativity from your life. This is a new season. Ready or not here it comes and to be honest I am not ready, but the way life is set up I don’t have a choice.

“Darkness tried to steal my heart away. ”- cece winans

I cry, almost daily lately, and that’s ok. I have to get all the hurt out and just ensure they don’t leave stains on my cheeks, because after this storm I expect to find beauty. There is a light, I don’t see it yet, I won’t see it for a while assumingly, but I have faith that so long as I am being true to me, my value, my standards that I will be ok. I might not be rich in finances, maybe I’ll never be. I’m comfortable, I don’t live in fear of money. I do however live in fear of not fulfilling my purpose and that alone drives me. Not because what others will think of say of me, but because how I will feel about myself.

This process is emotional, it’s draining, it’s full of hope, joy, sadness, gut wrenching pain, disappointment, some wins and losses. I am thankful and grateful, however, because the harder the journey the bigger the payout. This journey has been very humbling because I never understood how someone could allow life to swallow them and just accept their misery until now. It’s very easy to drown if you do not have positive forces fighting for you. Life has taught me lessons upon lesson, everything, every person, and experience has a place and a purpose in navigating your life.

“ As days go by, I can only cherish the bridges that have been burned. They taught me to walk alone and create new paths.”-Pierre Jeanty

At the end of this stage of my journey I’d love to be able to say:

Heartache taught me, life attempted to defeat me, but God sought to protect me.

And I’m sure I will. Lessons and maturity are not learned in years they are learned through experiences.

Hey loves. I know I haven’t posted anything in about 2 weeks. I have been going through some transitions in my life these past few weeks keeping me pretty busy, of course I will keep you up on what has been happening, is set to happen, etc. once things hit a finale. Currently, I am in the processes of moving (again) for 3 months and then who knows where I will end up. Dealing with an attempted career change, breakups, fading friendships, new friendships, rekindling family vibes while others fade. To put it lightly, I am just an emotional roller coaster.

These past few months have been fun, difficult, adventure filled, etc. I have made it a mission to meet new people, network, make time for personal goals, added fitness back into my daily routine, on route back to being a flexitarian (2 1/2 months strong now no red meat or pork) *insert happy dance here*. With all the new things happening, some old things start to re-surface, as old ghosts do, so I have had a sense of feeling overwhelmed by certain issues.

With transition comes this feeling of losing a piece of identity and trying to swap it out for a new one. In the past year I have gone from “almost wife” to single, going half on life with a partner to now being a roommate, going from carnivore to plant based, being negative to positive. So many wonderful changes, so many not so wonderful, some super scary.

In regards to failed relationships, I’ m discovering how hard it is to separate the dreams had as a unit and creating dreams as a solo. For the past 5 years I have spent my life as a half of a unit. Now I am the entire unit. Just me. Making decisions by myself, choosing what to eat without input by another, not being accountable to another, learned to resolve and be at peace. Yet, no bullshit, some days that goes right out the window and it saddens me to see the majority of my adult life’s relationships have failed. You don’t get into relationships hoping or planning on its demise. You work for it to flourish and build. When all that comes to an unfortunate end it’s disappointing.

To be fair and honest, I place no blame on anyone, people view the world differently and through their perception. Many times their perceptions and stance on how the world operates or should operate will not align with yours, and when that happens in any sort of partnership, without compromise, it will always fail. Sometimes, many times, it better that way. Knowing that doesn’t change the pain associated with it.

Accepting change doesn’t make it easier, but I will say this about this last year…I’ve cried a lot, I’ve laughed more, I’ve slept better, I’ve been calmer, sometimes I am at unrest, but despite it all, and I mean ALL of it, this is the way I truly believe it needed and needs to happen. You think your drowning and miraculously you learn to swim. You’re chocking on tears and somehow you find the strength to swallow those tears and force a smile. You trick yourself into thinking you’re ok, until you’re actually ok. Some days you will feel sad, and that’s ok…feel sad but don’t submerge in the misery.

In this new transition, I do feel a sense of identity loss and uncertainty. I read somewhere that in life we should take the paths that scare us the most because they will help us grow the most. My journey is full of twists and turns, mistake making, love makings, building, breaking down, running fast to reach the finish line, walking slow to enjoy the scenery, and trying to be grateful for this series of emotions, and trusting in Gods will and his timing. Faith and Patience mixed with a little trouble is what life is made up of. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows BUT it’s what I’m made of and of that I am proud. Making it day by day.

Imagine you are a piece of glass and people are bullets, their words and actions considered the gun. Independently, both cause no harm. Together they are deadly.  If their harshness touches you, the reality is they can shattered all you work to build if your not careful.

Ok let’s be really honest; thick girls are winning in this society. Team thick!! Now let me say this before the bashers come for me. I know I’m not fat….I am not claiming to be, BUT I am considered thick and I am ok with that. Bodies come in different shapes and sizes and whether you are slim, slim thick, average, thick, BBW, you should still love the body you’re in because the packaging doesn’t determine the contents of the individual. Yet I’m finding the packaging does “influence” the perception of self or at least it did for me.

Ok disclaimer complete. Now to the real shit.

I recently decided I might need to take my health a little more seriously.  Apparently French fries don’t count as a vegetable. No but seriously, after some self-evaluation I had to take a plunge and really dedicate time to really assessing my health, immune health, mental health etc.

This journey I’m on isn’t just to heal my heart, it’s to understand who I am, and who I want to be. My main point is to design and define my existence, before someone does it for me. At the happiest, I was at my fittest. I ate a vegetable based diet with very little animal bi-products aka didn’t eat much meat/poultry fish etc (Flexitarian/semi-vegetarian). I drank tons of smoothies and I juiced, I ran daily, worked out daily whether I did Zumba, bootcamps, weight trained, kickboxing/ boxing classes etc. I lived happily this way for years.

A few years ago I fell into a relationship where my partner was judgmental of my lifestyle choices, activities, claiming my body was too muscular and I ate like a bird. Now, obviously I shouldn’t have stayed with this individual, yet I did for whatever reasons. My self worth was dependent on my partners’ view of me. I was a people pleaser. Back in those days my mental was not strong enough to handle the harsh words and I found myself altering my eating habits and workout habits to accommodate for my partner.

Soon enough I found myself unhappy with my love life, my body, my eating habits, and I was getting sick often. That and a move to a new state really did a number on my mental health and physical health. I was drained and all the sharp, raw broken pieces of my life lay before me and I had no idea how to begin to reconstruct the pieces, so I did nothing about it. I gained weight rapidly and my self-confidence was at an all time low.

Is their any relationship between how you feel about yourself and how you view the world? Absolutely! When you feel better, you do better. Let’s be real! When you know you’re “on fleek” people need to make an appointment to talk to you and when you feel like a frumpy clown, you act like a piece of crap and allow people to treat you as such. Perception of self is key! I know I used to think that self mantras sound like a crock of shit ie: “You are worthy! You are loved, value and wanted. You deserve respect” etc. Now I realize the importance of really embedding those thought in your mind.

Thoughts aka self talk, really do make a difference in your views. One day you are lost, and another day, maybe weeks or months, sometimes years later you have this newfound strength. Where did it come from? When did you get so strong? However it happens, we as women, minority women especially, really have to see that we are worthy of real love, and it starts with loving yourself and them temple you are in, despite how many minority men and other women treat us, but that’s another post for another day!

Anyway…..

I am determined to fill my temple with good things: good thoughts, good foods, good vibes, good love, good music, good everything. If your vibes don’t blend with my lifestyle then you are not meant for this season of my life, unfortunately. Sometimes the people most negative are those that are closest to you, there isn’t anything wrong with taking a step back, building alone and then decide if want to re-introduce them back into your improved circumstance or deciding to keep them at a distance indefinitely. You have one life, one body one mind…take care of its balance and synergy.

I took all those broken pieces I once didn’t know what to do with, and I put them back together differently this time. 

Who I am and who I am working to become is culminating quite nicely. Make conscious decisions, take healthy, calculated risks and start building. People will want to see you fall, rid yourself of those people, find supportive new ones. You would be surprised how new people can support you better than those you have known a lifetime. Take away peoples bullets and turn it into confetti.

Happy, healthy, journey my loves xoxo

There are so many instances in which I find myself asking myself lately: Am I good enough for this? (Whatever “this” is.) Can I do it? Will I fail? Am I too “Broken” for this? Do I deserve these things? This journey is about self-love, finding the pieces that encompass me and putting them together to create a beautiful picture known as my life. I am learning how to take the pieces of me that are broken, the pieces of me that are beautiful, and the unknown parts and create my version of “perfect.” Defining your purpose is overwhelming, let’s be real. Figuring out where you’d like to be vs where you are, in and of its self, is a project. So many times you find yourself looking at other people’s accomplishments and focusing on all the wrong things. Just because we don’t fit into someone else’s definition of “perfect,” that does not mean that we aren’t “perfect” for someone else or something else.

It may have never worked out with someone else because there is another person God has planned for you. It may have not worked out with jobs because maybe you are meant to be doing something else. Life happens the way it is designed to. Design and define your existence.

Everyone has a different concept of what is right, what is beautiful, and even how to define love. If your definition of those words differ from another’s, doesn’t make your definitions more, or lesser.

There are times where people will not respect your views. They will judge you and what you are doing. At times you find them getting to you. Even your family does this. People operate as far as their perception allows. Not everyone can see or understand you vision. Ask yourself: Why do you value their opinions? Are their opinions of you valid/true? Are they accurate? Do others agree with them? Do their opinions change anything? If you answer “No” to even one of these questions then fuck them and their opinions. Their views are not facts, it’s a matter of perception, and most often times driven by hate, envy or jealousy. Everyone wants to see you doing well, just not better than them. That is NOT your problem. Don’t not light your candle because you are afraid to shine brighter than the others. Have no fear of what you will be able to accomplish. If you don’t make it on the first try, that’s not failure, it’s a lesson. Get up and try again, adjust your plan and go for it as many times as it takes.

I view life like this:

Remember that game we played with as kids; the one where there is a box and the box has different shapes carved out and matching carved little pieces that fit into those carved shaped holes. Now, if you try to put a square piece into a round carving, it won’t fit. Just because it doesn’t fit there, doesn’t mean it is less perfect piece or trash. It just means that piece doesn’t belong there BUT there is a place for it, you just have to find it. That’s like life. We are all out here trying to find our matched shapes to carved spaces.

So relax….collect all your pieces, as messy and imperfect as they may be, and one day you will find a place to put every piece.

I can be pretty tough on myself. I am such a perfectionist that if I even think that something might not go “right” the amount of anxiety I put myself through is very overwhelming. Failure is a very real fear for me. I have always worked hard. I was always an “A” student because anything less, to me, meant that I would probably be living under the Brooklyn Bridge. As extreme as that sounds I literally took failure that hard. Unfortunately, fear was my guidance in life. Just like the rest of us, we have the fear of failure instilled in us from such a young age, and we don’t even know it.

As far back as I could remember, if I ever got a “bad” grade, which to my parents was anything not an “A,” they would say little remarks like “ You’re going to end up working at McDonalds or Caldores with grades like that,” or however they put it. So to me, I associated working at a fast food joint, or a clothing store, or anything in the mall period, as a lesser job, and I was supposed to be better than that. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? You go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a degree and once you’re done life is supposed to be waiting for you with that dream job. Right? Reality slap!!! Hell no, it doesn’t work that way.

I read something once that said people with degrees are less successful, at times, than those without degrees because they are stuck in this realm of ideal perfection, ideal success, and what it is all supposed to look like. Now no shit, there are tons of successful people with degrees, so that statement is not entirely true, BUT I can agree that there is some truth to it. Think about it. We strived to do the best we could in a consistent environment aka the classroom and thrived. Life is not consistent in that way and that inconsistency throws so many people off because you are taught to think in confines of what is allowed or deemed appropriate or correct. Deductive reasoning and real life experience serves as its own teacher.

Now let me make this very clear, in no way do I blame my parents for my views of the world. I own my mindset, no matter who, or what shaped it. I can re-direct my views and alter them to reflect actual reality. How do you hit the re-set button on your brain and the ways it’s wired though? Can you really unlearn behaviors and habits you have created over your lifespan/ history?

Now I always joke about how since humans go through this epic change every 7 years, and since I am 28 that I am going through my 4^th lifecycle change, so what better time to do this than now. You can do this whenever, and at whatever point of life you are in, this is me just being EXTRA!

So as I have gone through this growth process I’m learning that the circumstances I find myself in or situations I go through are simply just that, moments in time. We as humans assign emotions to those situations or memories based off how we felt about them at the time. But you can always change your view on it. Just look at it from a different angle. They, whoever they are, say that there are 3 sides to every story; yours, the others and the truth. Let me feed some knowledge: Look at situations factually. Look at what exactly happened, not what you think happened. Repeat the dialogue if you need to so you can dissect truth from perspective. Learn how to do this. This is so important!

There are certain things I know about myself to be true and one of them is that I have always been 100% reactionary. All I mean by that is that I react before I think. I’m erratic when it comes to deciphering situations, so it is very tough for me to step back and really dissect things before I react to what I THINK is happening versus what is ACTUALLY happening. My emotions take control before my mind can shut it down. I’m not perfect. I’m flawed as fuck. I know this is life is about grown. It is about really taking the time to really look at the facts. You can then decide whether or not something really was a failure or if this was simply a lesson you had to learn.

The beauty of life is that you decide what you take from it and how it affects you. Be practical. Reshape your thinking. Have failure be constructive in your life and take something valuable from the situation, and most importantly move on from it. DO NOT let negative situations haunt you or disturb your progress. It happened, move on. Do not spend time re-living, re-playing and frustrating over the situations. You will drive yourself insane.

The trick to success is probably as simple as: LEARN HOW TO TAKE HEALTHY, CALCULATED RISKS CONSISENTLY.

Be practical about your risks. Will this risk assist you in reaching your ultimate goal? Can you fully commit to this risk right now and follow through? And remember risks don’t need to be big. Risk could be something very small. Remember that small success is still a win. A bunch of small wins create massive wins. Think about it this way. I recently got back into running. In the beginning I was running a 13 minute mile. As I out in the work I was able to run that mile faster, and then I was able to run 2 miles, then 3. I completely forgot how hard it was when I first started to run that first mile, and now I’m breezing through it. We always seem to forget about the struggle after we have made it through it. You forget the blood, sweat and tears and it’s important to reward those things. So next up. Don’t forget to reward yourself for all your little victories, no matter how small.

Lastly, remain grateful. I am grateful for so much at this point in my journey AND for all the beauty that has come from it. I am grateful for the friends I have that have cried alongside me through our storms, and those who have celebrated our small and large victories. I am grateful to my parents who continue to guide me. I am grateful for having siblings who support me and push me, and for having the opportunity to help guide them and be side by side with them through their growth processes. I am grateful to God for being merciful to this flawed sinner. I am grateful for the job and titles I have held such as daughter, aunt, friend, sister, coach, lover, girlfriend, and even ex-girlfriend, etc. I am grateful for the people I come in contact with and those that present themselves as love notes from the universe. I am thankful for my struggles for teaching me what I am made of. I am grateful that I am resilient and motivated. We each have soo much to be grateful for and we need to acknowledge all of it. Gratefulness creates abundance. Appreciate the journey. Enjoy the new things and dive deep.

See you on the next leg of my journey! Remember to be vibrant, lovely, silly and most of all be happy. Xoxo

“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

Life has a way of guiding you to exactly where you need to be, with whom you need to be with, and hearing what you need to hear. Sometimes you need an extra push and you have to seek growth, seek change, and experience new things that might be outside of your comfort zone. No, but seriously, face your inner demons; own your responsibility, and be accountable to your happiness.

These are a few tips of things I have done that have helped me to really helped me on my journey of focusing on self-esteem and self-acceptance.

1.Be accountable for yourself and your actions.

I was once told that you frustrate yourself living in a false reality. You begin comparing your life to others instead of be grateful for what you currently have. You cant expect to have more if you are not doing more. You’re unable to appreciate things because you are to busy complaining about what you don’t have. Live through yourself and your own existence, and not through expectations either you have set or that have been set for you.

2.Read…. A lot!

 I have been on my journey for quite some time now and I have found that these books have really been such an amazing asset to have in my life;

The 4 agreements by Don Ruiz Miguel , Language of letting go by Melody Beattie, and Dear Woman by Michael Reid are some really inspirational books that I have read and really needed during this journey.

3.Take care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being.

This one is more simple written than applied, but probably one of the most important thing we all NEED to do. Get rid of toxic people, toxic tendencies and get moving!

4.Immerse yourself in hobbies/try new things.

 Find the fun in exercise: going for walks with your girls or with a significant other, zumba, hip hop classes, belly dancing classes, strip/pole dancing classes, yoga, swimming, beach volley ball, are just a few ideas that come to mind of random, yet fun things, I do for exercise. Lets face it, sometimes being in the gym sucks.!! Soooooo take it outside and trick your mind. Break a sweat doing something that makes you happy. It counts!

5.Meet new people just because.

 This one is self explanatory, sooooo yea. Go flirt with randoms, go strike up conversations just because. Go have fun!

6.Be ok with alone time.

Do the things you like by yourself or do something just because it makes you feel good or happy. You don’t always need to be around people. Sometimes being by yourself is the best way to get to know yourself. You don’t need to cater to anyone else’s needs or wants but your own. No compromising.

To the left to the left….I don’t got time for your sh*t ,so step to the left. Rhyming skills official. Or not…whatever. Haters never prosper!

You ever have that one friend that everything is ALWAYS wrong. That friend that can be or is very draining emotionally to be around. Never there to celebrate with you, but always down to complain with you. Envious of everyone else’s success, and constantly speaking on their downfalls. Like how can you be envious if you are sitting around doing nothing! Life doesn’t give you what you don’t work for!

While the person might not always walk around like a dark cloud, often times, more than not, they do. You find yourself at the point where talking to them ruins your mood, and irritates you. We can all get into a funk, but the problem is when you stay there, and now everything is a problem. Unfortunately, you find yourself wanting or needing a vacation from these types of people.

During this journey I realized that I had very toxic tendencies. I’m not going to blame that on anyone because the only person, who can control my actions, is me. For some time I used to be that person that if something bad happened, the whole damn world was ending. Drama queen to the tenth power! Call the pope, prepare my funeral .I’m dead! (no but really -_-)

Lost a few friends over it, not going to lie, cant blame them, but definitely gained some many needed lessons and teachings about myself. I found that I surrounded myself with people with like tendencies, people who liked complaining and being negative. Regardless of if they saw that they were this way or not, I saw it, and we would feed off of each other. Not to say I had an epiphany of anything, but one day as I listened to a friend really blowing things out of proportion, I really woke up! Like how could she not see the part she played in this situation she found herself in? Like its never THAT serious.

Now, I am not going to put all her business out there, because I just won’t, but long story short, I saw myself in her. I was, to say it nicely, disgusted. Shit, I don’t want to even be friends with my damn self if this is who I’m going to be. As much as I love my friends, I had to let certain friendships fizzle out because they just weren’t good for me.

Once I distanced myself from those individuals I felt different, more happy, lively. I saw how I started viewing things differently. Small things were just that, small. I even found myself looking at bigger things, as small things. I established faith in God, energy and karma and that so long as I put positive vibes out, positive vibes would breed.

Now, lets be real. Life has a way of really wanting to shit on you when you’re trying to do better, but the devil is a lie, so I will always prosper. The devil tried it though, I’ll say that.; BUT they way my life is set up, I will always be alright. Crashed my car, ok whatever, I got a new one, Broke my wrist, ok so what, ,it healed. Let it be known I rocked that cast like it was a fashion accessory. Those of you who follow me on Facebook or IG can attest to that lol. Tires and rims were stolen off my new car ,right in front of my house, ok that’s what insurance is for, Replace them! Thankfully, my mom paid the deductible because she saw how life was handing me shit to make gourmet meals out of. Despite it all I never cried, not once. I just wrote it off as everything happens for a reason….moving on.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in “woe is me,” especially when life is really coming for you and you did not send for it. At those moments you just need to keep pushing. As cliché as it sounds, the biggest blessings come from the worst storms. For example: The week I had walking pneumonia I couldn’t leave the house. I used that time to really focus on me, my writing, and cleansing my life. I could of just sat here n been salty. Oh woe is me I’m sick AGAIN. Whatever I’m always sick, that’s how my immune system is set up, I’ll survive. Like my little cousin Vanesia said, “oh your sick, what do you have now?” Like bro seriously it’s never just a cold lol I could be mad about it BUT Brightside…. I didn’t have to drive into Miami those few days, sitting in traffic for 4 hrs each day going and coming combined, or pay toll, and to top it off I was still getting paid! Whoop whoop! Who mad? Not me. Me and my bed are one!! (attempted twerk session poppin off right here)

Point is this. Life happens! Ok so I’m going church on you real quick, but follow me because there is a point, I swear. A few weeks ago my church was doing a “Fast Forward” series. The series spoke about 4 main aspects of your life that really need some loving; Financial, Physical, Faith and Emotional. The week we spoke about faith my pastor hit me with some real ish y’all. He said, “You can’t say you trust something, but when times get rough, you run from it. That’s not faith…that’s convenience.” Pause—read that—absorb it. YASSSS!!! You better preach pastor!! You can’t say that you trust in the process of life and every time something shoots you down, you stay down or just complain about. Trust that things will always work out, you will always find a way, that’s FAITH! You do not want to shipwreck your faith. That doesn’t only talk about faith in the Almighty, but faith in the things you have built like friendships, relationships, businesses’, etc.

How you think determines how you view things. Don’t live as a prisoner to your uncertainty. Process through the positivity and you will have the strength to press on. Position yourself to succeed.

1.Start with yourself—“Be the change you want to see”

2.Start early- “Early bird gets the worm”

3.Start small “Do not bite off more than you can chew”

4.Start now “You have to start in order to finish”

Do not be that friend that someone needs a vacation from. Do not be that person people dread being around. Do not fall victim to all negative circumstances. Take ownership of your life, your circumstances and you will be radiant and powerful. But really though I probably should preach a sermon, because admit it, I just killed that! *Pats self on the should without breaking shoulder blades… WHADDUP!!

How can I change my attitude and the way it relates to the events that happen in my life? I have been in this mental space lately of really trying to delve deep and see how I am getting in my own way of my success. Not to say I haven’t been successful thus far in my life, whatever your definition of success is. My definition of success might vary from others, but I’ll feed you from my spoon so you can see how I feel I’m succeeding. I define success as being able to define my purpose, living in alignment with my purpose and my journey, living contently and not in fear of outside factors. Understanding my habits in creating success and how I allow external factors to misguide my mind, my actions and my reactions is my main focus these days.

HOW DO I CHANGE MY ATTITUDE AND THE WAY IT RELATES TO EVENTS I EXPERIENCE?

I have realized that certain internal thoughts, and the way I process them, are a major component in how I live. I listened to a podcast recently about “Self-talk” and it truly opened my eyes to the way I psych myself out sometimes thinking something is not for me because of the challenges. I think sometime we allow trials and challenges defeat us and we take that as a sign that maybe the thing we are striving for isn’t meant for us, when in actuality there will always be challenges. If it was easy everyone would be successful. Continued success is not for the fare hearted or the lazy. It requires work, endurance, resilience, determination and heart.

I once heard someone say, “Thoughts lead to feelings…feelings lead to actions/responses…responses lead to results.”

There are going to be times you have to realize your “Self-Talk.” You are forced to go through a process where you either edit your thoughts and get rid of them or learn to simply accept them. This process involves more than your own thoughts, it involves how those around you influence your thinking.  There are times the people who are around you are envious of your moves, your success and for whatever reason they feel the need to throw shade on your success or transitions. Re-evaluate your friends. How many of your thoughts and friends are in alignment with what you say you want to be and how many are destructive to your purpose.  You are in your own way! Manage your own self and develop the right habits. It is not easy to find balance and synergy, but it is important to your success that you do.

Aside from thoughts and friends/family, you also need to assess what do you spend your time doing. Are those things conducive to what you’re trying to be, grow into, do etc. The perfect way to do that is to keep track of your time and see where you are wasting time and how you can allocate time to ways to build something, rather than wasting it.

Your success isn’t going to follow the same recipe as another’s success. You have to follow your own path, create your own journey, and get to your definition of success. Do not be swayed by others definition of success. Alter your habits, your inner circle, you mental structure, your time and figure out what is better suited to your journey.

Like they say in school, “KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR OWN PAPER!”