Author: tracemyjournee

“Adulting” is fucking hard. For those of you who are unfamiliar with “adulting,” it is the act of being an adult, especially for those of us who have no idea how to do it. School set me up to fail. When I entered the world of my parents not taking care of everything for me I didn’t know how to do my taxes, balance my check book, make a doctors appointment, let alone have health insurance, what to buy at the grocery store, and the list goes on.

Just last week I slipped and fell in my parents drive way  and my first thought was, “I’m too old for this.” I genuinely felt like my life should be more together and slipping and falling isn’t part of my getting it together plan, it’s actually opposite of that. As I lay in the driveway, skinned knee and hand, my scarf wrapped over my head, as oppose to where it was around my neck, in the cold rain, I just laughed. I mean really what the fuck else could I do. Yes it hurt to fall, but the fact that I thought I was too old to fall was hysterical. Who forgot to tell life that almost 30 year olds aren’t supposed to fall anymore? That shit is for the birds aka children!

As I walked inside my parents house my dad saw my bloody knee and was like, “How the hell did you fall?” I had no words, because what was I going to say, the truth wasn’t an option really. So I went with a typical shoulder shrug and went with “the ground is wet, it’s raining.” Shit got real when I asked if there were any bandaids in the house and my dad literally said, ” Why would I need bandaids in the house? There are no kids here.” Thanks Dad..stab to the back bro. It was then I knew I needed some help with this “adulting” crap because lord know I am failing miserably at “adulting.” So after talking to some adults who are more adultier than me, I’ve decided to share the trick to surviving adulthood.

1. When it comes to your business, everyone will always have an opinions, the only one that really matters is yours.

Its just that simple. You are the pilot on this flight. Decide for yourself. Decide how or where you will spend your time and your money. The days of people choosing for you are over, make changes if you need to, or simply just want to because out of everything you do, only you have to deal with the repercussions, no one else, so do you.

2. Ok so your single, the world doesn’t stop because of it.

Get out, meet new people, stop writing off making new friends because you think you’re “too cool”, ”not cool enough”, or “Too different.” News flash meeting new people opens up more opportunities than sitting at home or at a bar crying to anyone who will listen about how miserable life is, how all the “good ones” are taken. Really? Last checked majority of the world is still available so that’s not even likely, plus you haven’t met even a 1/3 of the people on this planet. Chill!! Go meet people.

3. Life will feed you what you work for.

Don’t cry about it if you haven’t actually done the work. At this point in your life you have realized life is fucking hard. You have watched teaches pet win accolades you felt you deserved, not them, you watched people land jobs that they are 100% not qualified for, you watched the town whore get married before the good girls, blah blah yes life shits on you, but its how you play the hand you are dealt. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a second and do some self-inventory, you might be surprised at how much you have accomplished and see new ways to catapult yourself into new opportunity.

4 . Just because your not being graded on “adulting” doesn’t mean its not happening.

You are graded on what kind of heart you have, the people you keep around you, how genuine you are, how you handle stress, how you handle sadness, happiness, etc. Life is testing you daily to see if at the core you are who you think or say you are. Work on being more genuine to your true self. Being disingenuous hurts no one but you, ultimately. S let go of people who no longer fit in your life, toxic people, clothes that don’t fit or age appropriate, de-clutter your business life, personal life, social life and re-arrange it to be conducive to your true self. You outgrow things sometimes and its ok to acknowledge that.

5. Stop glorifying being an asshole.

Committing acts of douche bag-ary are not ok people! I get that it’s a defense mechanism to guarding ones self, but honestly its just overdone. You could be pushing away potential opportunities because you think you are a mess and are ok with being a mess. Gain a sense of structure and get it together.

6.  There isn’t a “right way” to do things.

Everyone’s struggle is different, everyone’s journey is different, its ok to go it alone for a while to figure it out if you need to. Stop comparing your life to anyone else’s. Your 20s are for figuring it out, figuring you out,so I think its safe to assume then your 30s are for implementing, making some shit stick. Do what feels right to you and for you.

Brave on my fellow adults, because this shit is harder than they lead us to believe, but we got this, sort of.

“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”

What are your intentions for me? Do you want a future?  Or is just sex? Will you allow me to chose or will you make the decision for me, without my knowledge or my consent? 

Men love to say women can’t handle the truth; the reality is they can’t openly say I just want physical relationship. As opposed to setting false expectations for a women, being truthful could possibly keep them from getting what they want. Fuck that selfish mentality! Some women are OK with physical relationship, yet other women are actually seeking more. Allow us, who want more, to make the decision for ourselves,  don’t force us into a situation based on lies and deception. Then those same men have the audacity to get upset when those women thought it was more than it was, when you’re the one who set the precedent of what it was.

There are men who use our (womens) bodies as a vessel of pleasure and while he leaves feeling fulfilled, we are left feeling empty. He has emptied the content of his manhood into your being. He now leaves to carry that same act on with another, leading her to believe she is something special, when she too is just another vessel to empty himself into. Men will be men, they have been since the beginning of time.

Allowing this to continue knowing the game shows him that you don’t value yourself so he doesn’t have to either. What is between your legs is gold. Treat it as such. Don’t cheapen yourself for the sake of a body laying next to you at night. Let than man taste your mind, your soul, your cooking, sample your thoughts, digest your words before he can even begin to think he is entitled to your gold. “If you don’t give it to him someone else will”….ok let them. That’s all they have to offer anyway. Only those who bring something to this table can feast and just bringing the dick isn’t enough. I like pizza but that cant satisfy my every need. Men are the same. Find a man thats kind, who can laugh with you, makes you feel safe, who thinks you are annoying as fuck, but enjoys being around you anyway. Find a good man, yes they exist.

So go ahead and ask! What are your intentions for me?

It’s worth the wait, sometimes you will mess up and deal with the wrong ones and they hurt you, but thats ok. Learn the lesson and move on. Only what you allow will continue. Stay bright my loves xoxo

“Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours. As much as others may — at most times — identify with you or your actions, it is impossible to go through life without occasionally being misunderstood. While you can control what you say or how you act, you cannot always control how others choose to interpret it.”

 There are certain ways I envision my life. There are places I want to go, things I’d like to see, activities I’d like to do, people I’d love to meet, foods I want to taste, music I’d like to hear, etc. The world is so amazing and so large. It would be a crime to myself to only ever live in one place, eat one kind of food, and never experience how the rest of the world operates and how they live day to day.

I’ve been on this self-discovery journey for about a year now. I have seen some of the most amazing changes in myself over the past year. Looking back at my entries and re-living through my writing, talking to friends who see the changes, looking at how positive my social media presence has been is one of the most fulfilling things. Granted I still have tons of decisions I need to make for the next year of my life.I haven’t decided where my next home would be, what job I would like to tackle next, etc.

My life, and the way I am currently living it, is concerning to others; for what true reasons I will never understand. As a Freelancer money isn’t steady, but the joy is. That alone makes this worth it to me. Money can take me but so far, but peace will being a good person, joy for being able to do the things that fulfill me and meeting people I wouldn’t have otherwise met, can take me to all new places. Some family and friends feel like taking the road less traveled is too risky and that I should simply go back to 9-5 working, living the way the majority of Americans do, I WILL NOT! Opinions are like asshole- everyone has one but no one cares-so I think I will take my chances living how I want and see how that goes. If I bite off more than I can chew I’m still the one who has to chew it and it doesn’t directly affect anyone but me so I’m ok with that.

I realize that there are ways my mind operates, and the way my heart sings that keeps me in alignment with my actions. My mental flow isn’t the same as any other individual. There may be slight similarities and I may vibrate on the same frequency as others, but my life will never be the same as another’s. To put that into perspective, if I am baking a cake and someone is baking the same cake we wont have the same struggles baking it. My oven might have less wattage than theirs, forcing my cake to have to cook for longer and if I take it out based on their oven timer my cake will be ruined. Do not rush, just because you get to the top later. Simply rejoice that you made it, not how long it took, the issues that came up en route, how many times you had to start over, just be grateful to have made it.

How many of us rush the timing of our lives and end up ruining what could have been something amazing? Trust in the timing of your life, check on your success, no matter how small the progress is be satisfied, but still remain motivated. I base my faith in God and his timing and his timing is always right on time, not on my time.

I’ve been feeling like lately I can’t share my personal desires with others, I have written about this before, but it’s still weighing heavily on my heart. I’m realizing my journey to self realization is 100% a solo mission, to choose wisely who I allow to penetrate my circle of trust and bondage with myself. I love being around lively people who vibrate on a similar frequency as me because it keeps my spirits up. Being around people who are still, also known as still broke, still complaining, still in the same spot, still….is not good for my mental. Your vision is yours to understand, and those who don’t understand it will meet you with resistance. Some may try to turn your dreams into a nightmare. Just because they can’t think the way you think or are stuck on the way society constructed them to think, don’t take it personally. It’s not their fault. Them attempting to talk you down shows more about the way THEY think than about the way you think and/or move. Sometimes it’s best to move in silence and allow your success to make noise. It’s ok to be a dreamer. Dreams provoke action, action provokes movement, movement provokes progression and all the little wins accumulated equals success. You are different, and that’s commendable!

Best piece of advice came from my dad when I was about 4 years old. “I can show you show to ride your bike but I cannot tell you where to take it.” In life you receive guidance from those who already know how to do something, but realizing that you can do things differently and still use those skills is most important. Yes I know, I have an AMAZINGLY SMART Dad.

If there is one recurring themes from this past year I would say its, focus on your own craft, don’t pay attention to naysayers, do what feels right, be ok with redirection, don’t let fear control you, you will get lonely,you will cry,people aren’t always nice or genuine, you will get lost, but lost things get found, support yourself, surround yourself with positivity, and lastly you will be ok. 🙂

“Your life is your greatest teacher. Everything from your joys, sadness etc is bringing your life to exactly where you need to be.” _Oprah

This is the most single I have ever been. I don’t know where life is re-directing me. Not for nothing, I’m terrified of this new phase, but I’m also really excited to see if how bad it has been in the past couple years, will redeem itself in the next few years. I have nothing but time to sit and reflect on my past and I’ve come to some really interesting end points.

I dated for the potential, never reality. What I want more than anything was to be a wife and a mother, by any means necessary. Something about being loved and feeding love into someone always made me feel whole. Conditioned from birth to be a nurturer, I sought out individuals who feed my need to be able to nourish their bodies, minds, and their lives. I never bothered creating a sense of identity of self because I was so enveloped in the others. Why be a single when I could be a unit? There goes the first problem.

1. Need for individuality/separate lives.

I love being up under my partners, figuratively and literally. I enjoy the closeness and the sense of belonging to another. The feeling of being desired and I craved it more than I craved anything else so I wanted it non-stop, all the time, and it upset me that my partners didn’t want the same thing,100% of the time. I was also under the impression that it was supposed to be “us against the world,” not realizing that sometimes the world needs a piece of me or them. I was suffocating my partners and not respecting their need for space a lot of the times. I allowed them to dictate where we would go, what we would eat, when we would do things so long as I could be with them. As a result I ended up never being able to do the things I wanted, and getting walked all over. I ended up losing myself. I just wanted to love them so much, but not as much as I needed to feel their love. I equate quality time with love, not everyone shows their love that way, and I couldn’t grasp that concept. If this is how I need to be loved why can’t you just love me in that way? I wasn’t realizing I wasn’t loving them the way they needed love either. I wanted grace, but I aslo wasn’t extending grace. Double edged sword.

I’m not a monster. I realized I was just a broken woman who craved all the wrong things from the wrong people and places. I never sought love from myself, which is where I needed to start to truly love another. I allowed people to do or say things to me that I knew I shouldn’t for the sake of having love. I spent many nights in tears because I knew I wanted more, needed more, but I was willing to settle just to have something, anything. That brings me to point #2.

2. Set boundaries

People will do to you what you allow them to do. Every person has their own free will and will exercise their right to say and do as they generally please. It is up to you to decide what you are and are not willing to accept from another person. If your partner does something that you deem offensive, hurtful, etc you set the boundaries of what your expectations are and if they don’t fall in alignment with that then it is your decision to either accept the behavior or move along. Having standards of what people can and cant pull with you is attractive feature for anyone to carry. It sends the message “ I value myself. I am worthy, and if you can’t or wont treat me in accordance to that then we cannot be a part of each others lives.”

I never viewed myself as valuable, until recently. I sought happiness in others. I sought validation in my partners. In my mind their opinions mattered most, after all they were my potential life partner. I wanted them to think of me as smart, beautiful, classy but most of all as wifey.

Men represent so much to woman. They represent potential husbands, fathers to our children. It’s true that women decide when or if to have sex with men, but it is the man who decides when or if he is ready to marry a woman. Yea I know …..that SUCKS!! As women we showcase our best skills to show them why we can fit the role of wife, mother, partner, etc. We show them our best faces hoping to entice them enough to settle down with us. We go above and beyond to make him feel like a man, the best ways that we know how. Fact is we can’t even begin to understand the mental/inner workings of men. Now comes point 3.

3. Date the reality of the man. Not the potential.

When I say date the reality of who a man is, I mean to say, don’t fall in love with the representative. The representative is the version a person shows you that they are in the beginning phases of the relationship. Dating is sort of like the probationary period when you start a new job. The first few months you want to show your new bosses that you are a great worker, and give them a reason to want to keep onboard. You show up to work early to show your commitment to the job, you stay late if necessary to complete tasks to show initiative, you dress in your best attire, you mind your P’s and Q’s, to show that you are professional.

After a few months, and an official decision from the board to keep you with the company, we all fall into the comfort stage. You might showing up a little later, passing on working late, you find yourself waiting for clock out time to punch out and rush out of the office, you figured out what coworkers you cant stand and the few you can, your wardrobe takes a hit, etc. Much like a relationship. In the beginning you show your best attributes, dress to impress, say and do all of the right things. Once you solidify the relationship, a lot of times people get comfortable and stop doing all of the little things to keep their partners interest peaked. Many times you find out that your partner isn’t even who they actually portrayed themselves to be, yet we still stay because they were the person you wanted them to be in the beginning and so why couldn’t they be that person again. We hold onto hope that the person is still in there. But the reality is once they show you their ass believe it. The potential will always give you a great illusion of who they are, but its not in alignment with the actual individual. Date the man for who he is, and not who you expect him to be. You will be a lot less disappointed that way. Save yourself the heart ache.

Once you’ve gotten past the point of deciding whether or not they are who they present themselves to be and lets say you get serious etc and he just isn’t as into you as you are into him, remember….

4. If he doesn’t chose you , you’re not the problem. He is just not ready.

Sometimes you can be the best a man will ever get and if he isn’t ready, there isn’t anything you can do. There will be a woman who can do less than a third of what you’ve done, and if he is ready at that point in time of his life he will settle down with her. It is not a reflection of who you are and what you brought to the table, but more so about if his mind was ready to settle down. Don’t take it super personal. It’s hard, trust me I know.

5. It gets better!

Everything heals in time. It doesn’t feel like it today, won’t feel better tomorrow, but in time you will. Cry it out, smoke a few blunts, have a couple drinks, soak in the tub and sob uncontrollably and then get up, dust yourself off, and go figure out how to live. Try some new activities. Make a conscious decision to let the pain go. Accept the loss and the part you played in it . Acknowledge how it affected you and how it helped you. Focus on what’s happening now. That’s where you will find joy. AH joy! How sweet it is. When you find joy you will see exactly why it did not work. Joy is the most amazing feeling. It makes it easier to accept the apology you will never receive and forgive them and yourself. So let the hurt hurt you, to the depths of your soul and rise up higher than you’ve been. The older you get you’d think the easier it gets. On the contrary what you begin to understand that the difference between hurt in the different phases of your life is that the highs are higher, the lows are lower the only difference is now you have more knowledge on how to cope and you know you have the strength to pick up the pieces. You will be just fine.

“ I know this transformation is painful, but you’re not falling apart; you’re falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.”- William C. Hannan

Growing up in my family I was always made to believe that for every tear you cry, for every disappointment you endure, for every heartbreak that breaks you, God will rebuild your life 10 fold. The past year of my life has been a living testament to the fact that I am truly blessed and highly favored. Whatever God you believe in, or whatever natural force you thing orchestrates your life , we all have to agree that at some point in life things happen that are truly unexplainable.

In the last few months I have managed to find myself peace in the most fearful era of my life thus far. I am going through a career change, a possible move cross country, health changes, and everything in between. All the pieces of me are still being developed, so needless to say, majority of my life in under construction. So for those who ask how I remain calm here a few ways I have found that helped me really self reflect and be more at peace.

As I dive into the newest chapter of my life, I know it’s not going to be easy.   I almost feel like I have nothing to lose but to try and see how it goes; so the sky is the limit for me I guess. I am learning so much about the kind of person that I am in this process. Some aspects of it I don’t like and others I am super proud to explore.

For starters:

Say no, when you mean no.

I’m learning that I have to say “no” more often and not offer up any reasons or excuses. Sometimes I just don’t want to and that’s fine. I don’t have to. I have allowed myself time and space from people to really be able to self reflect and really truly understand my spirit and my mentality. For the first time ever I have no one else to consider. I can be as selfish as I want with my time and resources and communicate with those around me as I see fit. I especially like how much freedom I allow myself to have.

Value-based decision-making

There is a sense of fear in some of my decision-making but I have adopted this new way of making decisions from a podcast I listen to frequently. Value based decision making is the best thing I have ever come across. If it isn’t aligned with my spirit and my values and doesn’t serve me any way than its likely I wont do it. It’s not to say that I cant be a good person, but what I am saying is that there are times we feel pressure to say yes to someone and it’s because of the relationship we have with them but we shouldn’t feel obligated to do anything that goes against your morals and /or value or something that will bring you less peace and joy.

Meditation/Yoga

I can’t say it enough. I love yoga! About 3 months ago I started back up again taking yoga classes. I had taken them in the past but never fully understood the technique and like I’ve been known to do I let that go and picked up other hobbies I felt better at, confident in my abilities. I didn’t feel like I was good at yoga. Fast-forward 2 years and a ton of craziness in my life and I’ve been told by doctors and friends to try it again, so I have. I think this was what was supposed to happen. Once I just gave in to the practice of meditation and yoga I have newfound energy and I haven’t been sick at all, in a few months which is very unlike me. I’d love to attribute that to this feeling of inner peace. I am loving the progression I am seeing, and feeling. My body has never been able to move like this. I am able to manage the sever pains I get in my shoulder and neck now, I sleep better, soooo many amazing things have come from this.

Allowing myself to have everything

So much of who we are is dependent on where we come from, who and what we saw growing up. Growing up I always knew that id have to be either a doctor, nurse or a lawyer, etc. Just based on the dreams I was sold, I knew if I deviated from that path I’d be disappointing someone. I also didn’t know a whole lot about what other careers were available to me because I never saw anyone around me do anything different. I knew going into college I wanted to go somewhere where I’d come across different types of people. I knew I needed to get away from my small town and expand my mind. My parents took us on vacations fairly often, I saw the way other people lived in other countries as that was very important to my parents for us to see and understand. I was always interested in how people end up at their jobs. And how they found about about it and why I hadn’t. Most people end up doing certain jobs because they don’t know about all the opportunities out there because they never saw anyone do anything different or simple just alternative. People fear “normalcy” but they fear “being abnormal” even more. Don’t feel guilty for wanting more, wanting to see more, do more, have more or have less. Your life is yours and if something suites you then do it and if it doesn’t, then don’t, but there are tons of opportunities that are out here and you can have one, create one, regardless of your past. The good part about life is that no matter how long you’ve been doing something you can always alter your route. President Obama ran for a seat in the senate at 40 years old and lost terrible to his opponent. If he had given up he would have never made it this far, serving 2 terms. It’s never too late. Go for it.

Not everyone will want to hear about your success/be happy for your success

Sad truth is, people like to see others doing well, but usually not better than them. It’s a jaded way of looking at the world, but people generally take the beauty from beautiful things because they themselves cant have it. It’s a sense of jealousy. Perhaps not necessarily that they want what you have, but they want what they want and are jealous that you have what you wanted, and they don’t. Sometimes it’s better to move in silence and people can just see the end result. It’s ok to be selfish with your accomplishments. Understand it’s not a malicious intent on their part. It’s easy to get caught up in jealous tendencies unless you are proactively conscious of it. Celebrate other people’s success, surround yourself with like-ambitious individuals.

There are ways to not completely isolate people from you success, find a way that works for you. Make sure you are putting yourself first. You cant pour from an empty vessel, remember that.

Xoxo

Silent chapter

When you live in a state that is in a constant state of” recklessness” there is ALWAYS something to do.

Originally from New York, I know a few things about not being bored, but in a state like Florida, more particular south Florida, where winter doesn’t exist, there is literally always something to do.

             Winter? What does that even mean? You mean 79 degrees versus our usual 97 degrees?

What makes South Florida THE place to be year round? I’ve compiled a list of 10 or so thing that I do, that I know people enjoy and maybe you would too.

• Yachts

Going boating/yachting with friends in a normalcy around here. Tons of yacht company’s, or private owned, provide services for half day or full day to the sandbar, day of fishing, party boats, etc. For those of you who don’t know what that is a sandbar it is essentially a bunch of sand that piled in the ocean, river or whatever mass of water that you can hand out of. The water is shallow enough to bring floats and just chill out, drink, meet up with other fellow water babies.

• Beach days

Ok now seriously some people in Florida will tell you, “you’d be surprised how many people don’t go to the beach,” and yea honestly you would be BUT if you actually live near the beach you would find tons of people frequent the beach. I make my way to the beach at least once a week. I also live a stone throw from the beach, so I am a bit bias. When I lived further it was far, few and in between that you would have found me at the beach. The beach is a great time passerby. There are tons of restaurants on the beach, bars, biking trails, boardwalk shops, nightlife, and let’s face it most of us go for the cute guys, or hot girls, to get drunk and swim, etc. Easy thing to do if you are on a budget. Grab an uber, which is super cheap, if you don’t feel like fighting for parking, which can be hard to find during peak times on the weekends.  But definitely make your way to the beach!

• Jet skiing

Not that I’m balling or anything, but jet skiing is another way to spend your time here in SO. FLA. SO much so that I can think of plenty of people I know who personally own jetskis, wave runners, or speed boats here. If you’re not as fortunate it’s very inexpensive to rent one on the beach, or get a groupon. Some range as low as $20 per person or for a pair to share and it comes wth beach chairs and umbrellas. Go be adventurous.

• Wynwood

Art on the walls, the floors, hippie life times 10. Wynwood has plenty to do. It is where the artsy indiviudals spend time at the art walks, food trucks, drinkingfun speciality drinks, fun outdoor parties at night, dope food spots. Ydwood happens to be one of the major hosts of art basel which id suggest everyone make their way down for atleast once in their life. Once a amonth Wynwood hosts a smaller version of art basel known as the art walk that local artist submit their work to displayed. Honestly a great time!!!

• Ft.Lauderdale

Las Olas/Downtown Laudy: A fancier version of south beach topped off with the elite of Ft. Lauderdale. Las Olas caters to all kinds. Brunch central. On any given Saturday or Sunday you can find tons of brunch spots on Las Olas Blvd. Now I don’t know if I have ever mentioned how much I love brunch, I mean obviously because it involves bottomless mimosas and belinis. The best brunch find, in my opinion, happen to be in Ft.Lauderdale. Miami has awesome spots as well but I definitely prefer Laudys’ options. Beauty and the feast, American Social, Big City Tavern, to name a few are really great brunch spots you will find here. There are tons of outdoor events, food truck rallys, fairs, etc. I mean really on any given day you can find cheap things to do for families, kids, adult fun. If you want to “boss up” and spend big there are plenty to do.

• Miami

When I say Miami people auto assume South beach/Miami Beach so let’s start there. Bars, bars, bars, great food, beaches, hot guys, hot girls, Porsches everywhere, Maseratis everywhere, club life, I mean it speaks for itself really. But aside from that there is the Gables, Bayside, Aventura, Bal Harbor, Sunny isles, if you’re looking for a little bit more low key, relaxing fun. Anything you can think of, Miami has it.

• Pool/Grilling and chilling

If you are really trying to chill out, without the struggle of sand, grilling by the pool is another activity my friends and I actively participate in. What’s not to like? Majority of housing complexes offer grills for use usually on the pool deck, they are first come first use basis, but it isn’t hard to turn a small group into a large group by sharing the grill. Meet new people, hang out all day, essentially free (minus the groceries if you’re the host) if your smart you do a BYOB and split the cost that way. Drinks, food good people some music….sounds like a great day/night.

• Lounges/hookah lounges

Hookah is a big deal here, or at least with my friend circle. Water or tobacco pipes, flavored with fruity or tart flavors mixed along with music, drinks, and a great crowd equal good vibes. Many clubs down here actually offer hookah. There are tons of smoke shops where you ca buy your own hookah set and do it at home. Bars on the beach at times offer hookah pipes and they are very decently priced. Grab some friends and go. I need not say anything more. This speaks for itself.

• Indoor/outdoor adventures

Since we live in Florida the downside is that we do get some crazy rainy weather. On those days rather than sleep all day, why not go find an indoor activity center. Yes they exist for adults. The ones I’ve been to have an assort of entertainment ranging from: Nascar racing (yes inside), bowling, rope courses, climbing courses, painting classes (BYOB…because everything is better when you have a drink in hand), arcade games for the kids if you want to dispose of them for a little while, if you have them. Just because it’s raining doesn’t mean life stops. Outdoor fun is on another level. To name a few things you can find: Kayaking, cycling paths (you can rent the bikes pretty cheap if you do not already own one), canoeing, pedal boating, everglade sightseeing, music festivals, crazy 5k’s (bubble run, glow in the dark run/ obstacle course runs, and more)

• Cruises

Grab your passport! The rest of the world is only a few steps away.  The Bahamas really should be an extension of Florida with how often Floridians find themselves island side. Port of Everglades and Port of Miami offer tons of options for 3-8 day cruises and plus side, if you are a Florida you get a dope discount. Find yourself in Key west, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Haiti, St.Lucia, St.Thomas, and so much more thanks to these ports. There are even cruise ships that go back and forth between the Bahamas and Miami daily if you wanted to go for just the day, or spend the night and come back the next day. I mean really why the hell not.

• Staycation

By far the best thing about living here is the endless opportunities to stay-cation. Basically you really don’t need to leave the state to go “away”. Orlando is a 3 hour drive. Take ya ass to Disney (which also gives residents discounted rates), airBnB on the beach for the weekend, Take a 2 hour drive west to Naples or Marco Island in the gulf of Mexico, enjoy the white sandy beaches west side. Take a ride to Key West, better known as the Keys, and enjoy the different islands, fairs, events, etc. I’ve yet to make my way to Key West though, but I will. Impromptu getaways are fun. All you need to pack are swimsuits, beach towels and tons of beverages, oh and snack….don’t forget the snacks.

I could go on forever about what else Florida can offer, but you get the point! South Florida is different than many other states…the best comparison I can make it California, so much to do, so much to see, sleep in, stay out late, eat a ton, workout a ton, drink, laugh, work hard, and play harder. Come check us out! Anyone who simply doesn’t enjoy South Florida is LAME!!! Lol no but seriously…..

Toodles xoxo

The nature of yoga is to shine the light of awareness into the darkest corners of the body. – Jason Crandell

There is a common misconception surrounding black people doing yoga. I have recently come to this new path where I do, or try to do, yoga almost daily. I have always been one to meditate and pray about situations I find myself in, or for clarity, understanding and many times, for resilience to get back up when I fall.

In sharing what works for me with others I have received a barrage of questions as to why I even bother doing yoga. “Yoga is for white people,” is what I have been told, but why do black people feel that way?

“Black people don’t do yoga”: Is it because we are conditioned to think that yoga is targeted towards middle to upper class white woman? OR Is it because it is not as easily accessible to minorities in the areas they reside in which in turn makes them ignorant to the yogi lifestyle?

Yoga is great for: Stress reduction, lowering blood pressure, getting better sleep, metal heath, and emotional health. It has also been proven to help with muscular skeletal issues, pain in lower back, breathing issues, chronic pain, flexibility, and cardio vascular issues like heart attack.

Anyone can do yoga (different types of yoga: Hatha, bikram, vinyasa yogas.)

“Yoga means addition – addition of energy, strength and beauty to body, mind and soul.” ― Amit Ray,

Benefits I find from being a black yogi

1. Focusing on breathe, deep breathing, linked with movements and gentle stretching movements and make sure to stay relaxed.

2.Emotional decluttering- allowing you to address, cry over, smile about any moments that affect you positively or negatively and working through those emotions and cleaning yourself of them. This is helpful because you have a sense of cleanliness and the likelihood of having an emotional breakdown is severely lessened. Yoga is a problem solving agent.

3.Self-awareness—being self-aware allows you to look at things objectively and see where your faults are and where you excel. This will allow you to have fuller and richer relationships with family, friends, romantically, etc. For me Yoga helps me have healthy perspective on life.

4. Chronic pain management- I suffer from chronic back pain and lately pain in my hips. Yoga has strengthen my muscles, stretched them out,

“Your life is a sacred journey. It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.” – by Caroline Adams

Why wouldn’t you want to be healthy, happy, and completely aligned? If this is something for “white people” then fuck it I am off to hang out with the white people. I’d rather have a body that feels good, looks good, and be clear n my path then to sit around and feel anything less. No Thanks!!!

“It is not arrogant or egotistical to feel good inside. You had nothing to do with it. It’s simply the honest response to clearly perceived Reality.”  ~ Erich Schiffman