Step up and introduce yourself:

My name is Tracey. I am on the brink of 30 and not really scared about it, yet. Apparently I am supposed to be. Over the last few years on my birthdays I have opted to set intentions, as opposed to getting myself a gift. I feel that I want to manifest that new year of life and really allow myself to grow in the ways I need to all while being completely open to the process.

When I turned 28, which is why I started this blog, I wanted to write about the journey of my prime years and I quickly realized that every year carries different weight, but all are important. 28 was the year of growth. That year I lost a lot. I let go of my longest love of 5 years, I moved out of what was our home and in with a roommate, something I hadn’t done since college. I had to redecorate my spaces and I realized my tastes had changed. I lost my job shortly after starting this blog because my company was going under.

During much of that time I received a ton of unsolicited advice. People loved telling me how to heal from a lost love and find a new man, how to get a new job, how to cope with my new surroundings, etc.  One thing I knew for certain was that I was much to creative and bright, like light, to stay in the finance job I was holding at the time.God was testing me and pushing me to where I needed to be, but frankly, I was just empty and lost. I decided to take some personal time to really discover where I was SUPPOSED to be in life. In that process I really started to be open to designing this new life I was set to find. I had to leave some people behind because they didn’t support my growth. I became friends with unexpected individuals. I forced myself to see the positives I had attained. I survived, telling myself that these were my valleys I had to go through, to get to the peak.

On other days I cried. I cried because letting go was hard. I had grown comfortable with the people around me and now they were gone. Who was I becoming? Where was my life going? I was terrified. Life completely fucked me, or so I thought. I spent a lot of time alone, because everyone was gone. I felt lonely, at first. Then I found things to fill my time. New things, things I used to do, things I found I didn’t like, things I once thought were strange I now found myself loving and drowning myself in. I went and did those “new to me” things and met “new to me” people who also enjoyed those things. With these new things and new people I learned about life and myself.

Letting go hurts, no doubt about that, but sometimes it’s necessary to show you what else is out there for me so that I could become well rounded and experience new things that would fall in line with the next chapter of where my life was heading.

Year 29 my intention was “adventure” since I felt I had grown a ton through losses and wins and letting go, and tears, I decided this year I’d manifest adventure and movement. I planned to moved to the west coast from sunny south Florida and try that on for size for a year or two. Life and my manifestations clearly had “adventure” planned for me. I now live in New York and that was all unexpected but the things I am now able to do living here have definitely allowed me to have many adventures. Unlike most people I am not a huge fan of New York. As a born and raised New Yorker I want more than this bubble. I wanted to see the world and moving back here to me symbolized the end of adventure and returning to mediocrity. I had to sit and talk some real shit to myself though because NY was happening and I needed to get on board quick.

I thought of all the things being here would allow me to do in regards to my adventure year. I decided that I would travel as much as possible, take road trips often. Within 10 hours of NY are too many places I have never seen, heard of, thought about and now I am going. Just simply getting up and going. I backpacked through Thailand and Singapore for a little under 6 weeks, took solo roadtrips to those new places I wanted to see and met some amazing people along the way. I also have spent much of my time soul seeking and rekindled friendships I had otherwise let flare out while away. Destiny knew i’d need to be someplace that would afford me the opportunity to adventure in this way, and New York has shown me that adventure is everywhere. Ill keep y’all posted on my adventures.

So 29 is half way, and more or less over at this point and in honor of my ½ birthday I want to take inventory of where I’m emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically at.

This is me at 29 ½:

• I am a free spirit
• I laugh a lot
• My laugh is annoying
• I smile often
• I’m a spartan
• I have a temper sometimes (act like you don’t)
• I am a sugar addict
• I love hugs and kisses
• I’m very affectionate
• I suck at calling people back if it isn’t business or work related
• I love heavy blankets and cuddling
• I love hiking
• I live for random trips
• Grilled cheese, in any form, is LIFE
• Striving to find balance
• Learning to accept that I can’t do everything, I can only do what I can do
• I overwhelm myself with problems that aren’t mine because they belong to people I care about.
• I am a nurturing soul
• I am sometimes not nice to myself. I need to grant myself more grace when I fail.
• Rejection has become a lifestyle, so I’m learning how to be insensitive to people’s views and their opinions, because they aren’t facts.
• I soak it up small things like a sponge.
• I will not put in effort for those who are not grateful towards me consistently. I rather have you be upset with me and have exerted no energy rather than exhausted myself to have you complain.
• I have learned the art of saying “No” when I cant or don’t want to do something
• I am growing
• I am mindful, compassionate and merciful
• I am evolving and will continue to be amazed and be amazing.

Year 30 I am waiting for you ❤