“ I know this transformation is painful, but you’re not falling apart; you’re falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.”- William C. Hannan

 

Growing up in my family I was always made to believe that for every tear you cry, for every disappointment you endure, for every heartbreak that breaks you, God will rebuild your life 10 fold. The past year of my life has been a living testament to the fact that I am truly blessed and highly favored. Whatever God you believe in, or whatever natural force you thing orchestrates your life , we all have to agree that at some point in life things happen that are truly unexplainable.

 

In the last few months I have managed to find myself peace in the most fearful era of my life thus far. I am going through a career change, a possible move cross country, health changes, and everything in between. All the pieces of me are still being developed, so needless to say, majority of my life in under construction. So for those who ask how I remain calm here a few ways I have found that helped me really self reflect and be more at peace.

 

As I dive into the newest chapter of my life, I know it’s not going to be easy.   I almost feel like I have nothing to lose but to try and see how it goes; so the sky is the limit for me I guess. I am learning so much about the kind of person that I am in this process. Some aspects of it I don’t like and others I am super proud to explore.

 

For starters:

Say no, when you mean no.

I’m learning that I have to say “no” more often and not offer up any reasons or excuses. Sometimes I just don’t want to and that’s fine. I don’t have to. I have allowed myself time and space from people to really be able to self reflect and really truly understand my spirit and my mentality. For the first time ever I have no one else to consider. I can be as selfish as I want with my time and resources and communicate with those around me as I see fit. I especially like how much freedom I allow myself to have.

Value-based decision-making

There is a sense of fear in some of my decision-making but I have adopted this new way of making decisions from a podcast I listen to frequently. Value based decision making is the best thing I have ever come across. If it isn’t aligned with my spirit and my values and doesn’t serve me any way than its likely I wont do it. It’s not to say that I cant be a good person, but what I am saying is that there are times we feel pressure to say yes to someone and it’s because of the relationship we have with them but we shouldn’t feel obligated to do anything that goes against your morals and /or value or something that will bring you less peace and joy.

Meditation/Yoga

I can’t say it enough. I love yoga! About 3 months ago I started back up again taking yoga classes. I had taken them in the past but never fully understood the technique and like I’ve been known to do I let that go and picked up other hobbies I felt better at, confident in my abilities. I didn’t feel like I was good at yoga. Fast-forward 2 years and a ton of craziness in my life and I’ve been told by doctors and friends to try it again, so I have. I think this was what was supposed to happen. Once I just gave in to the practice of meditation and yoga I have newfound energy and I haven’t been sick at all, in a few months which is very unlike me. I’d love to attribute that to this feeling of inner peace. I am loving the progression I am seeing, and feeling. My body has never been able to move like this. I am able to manage the sever pains I get in my shoulder and neck now, I sleep better, soooo many amazing things have come from this.

Allowing myself to have everything

So much of who we are is dependent on where we come from, who and what we saw growing up. Growing up I always knew that id have to be either a doctor, nurse or a lawyer, etc. Just based on the dreams I was sold, I knew if I deviated from that path I’d be disappointing someone. I also didn’t know a whole lot about what other careers were available to me because I never saw anyone around me do anything different. I knew going into college I wanted to go somewhere where I’d come across different types of people. I knew I needed to get away from my small town and expand my mind. My parents took us on vacations fairly often, I saw the way other people lived in other countries as that was very important to my parents for us to see and understand. I was always interested in how people end up at their jobs. And how they found about about it and why I hadn’t. Most people end up doing certain jobs because they don’t know about all the opportunities out there because they never saw anyone do anything different or simple just alternative. People fear “normalcy” but they fear “being abnormal” even more. Don’t feel guilty for wanting more, wanting to see more, do more, have more or have less. Your life is yours and if something suites you then do it and if it doesn’t, then don’t, but there are tons of opportunities that are out here and you can have one, create one, regardless of your past. The good part about life is that no matter how long you’ve been doing something you can always alter your route. President Obama ran for a seat in the senate at 40 years old and lost terrible to his opponent. If he had given up he would have never made it this far, serving 2 terms. It’s never too late. Go for it.

Not everyone will want to hear about your success/be happy for your success

Sad truth is, people like to see others doing well, but usually not better than them. It’s a jaded way of looking at the world, but people generally take the beauty from beautiful things because they themselves cant have it. It’s a sense of jealousy. Perhaps not necessarily that they want what you have, but they want what they want and are jealous that you have what you wanted, and they don’t. Sometimes it’s better to move in silence and people can just see the end result. It’s ok to be selfish with your accomplishments. Understand it’s not a malicious intent on their part. It’s easy to get caught up in jealous tendencies unless you are proactively conscious of it. Celebrate other people’s success, surround yourself with like-ambitious individuals.

There are ways to not completely isolate people from you success, find a way that works for you. Make sure you are putting yourself first. You cant pour from an empty vessel, remember that.

Xoxo

Silent chapter