Some people only check up on you to see if you’ve failed yet. Nah, im still winning. Continue hating from the outside though.

Holy shit I survived! Ok no bullshit my last post was emo as fuck, but holy shit if you only knew.

In a 2-3 week span my life, as I had planned, fell all the way apart and lord knows I couldn’t pretend to know how to sort through the pieces. My driver’s license got suspended and almost revoked. They sent me a letter letting me know to surrender my license, yes surrender it, back to NY State, since I still have my NY license because I live everywhere and nowhere all at once. Ok but back to the story. So after calling NY DMV and FL DMV and no one knowing why my license had been suspended, I finally got a hold of the Miami Dade clerk’s office, after 3 weeks and damn near 100 phone calls trying to get someone on the line….ps Miami Dade clerk’s office is officially the worst. Now NY DMV isn’t any better because lord knows what I had to deal with thanks to those people.

Anyway…… my license was on the verge of being revoked because apparently I owed the state of Florida $9. Yes, $9 fucking dollars, and they knew even notified me about it. Now, put this into perspective; I eat out for lunch daily and I probably spend anywhere between $7-15 dollars daily on lunch. So for the price of 1 person’s lunch or 8 items off the dollar menu FL decides I’m not a qualified driver? Really? Whatever! So I pay the 1 days’ worth of lunch bill and you would think it’s that easy. Oh no! Not when it comes to anybody’s DMV.  After 3 hours on hold, and several different agents, I finally get a fax number to submit the payment receipt, which of course in 2016 cannot be emailed to you so now I’m waiting on snail mail.

Now, I need to get my passport renewed as it is set to expire on the 16^th of July and wouldn’t you know it, because my license isn’t in good standing and that’s my proof of identity I can’t get my passport handled because my birth certificate is in my mom’s safe, in NY!! Nope, it gets worse. At this point I still don’t have the paperwork to submit to this fax number and I only have until the 27^th to get it to them, at this point it’s the 25^th. I call NYS DMV and beg and plead. No mercy on their part, so all I can do is wait on the receipt to arrive via mail. All I can do is hope no one throws it out and that someone can fax it in for me from NY.

Let me catch my breath because now shit gets interesting.

While all this BS with my license is going down I’m in the process of moving. I’ve already moved some of my things into the new place that I will temporarily staying for a few months, only to find out that living there is no longer a viable option. Now that’s some other shit for another day. Ok to continue on, my lease is up on the 12^th and I have a pre-planned trip to Cali for a wedding and to find a place to move into for September from June 2^nd thru June 8^th. Now recall I’m now at June 26^th and I have a little over a week to find a new place to live, minus my vacay days. June is the busiest month to move in Florida thanks to new grads, old people going back to their perspective homes so finding a place with this kind of notice plus first, last and security is nearly impossible.

I didn’t have time for a breakdown! I’m not qualified to be homeless, so I’m taking every spare moment to find a place, rain or shine. Still no license though. I can almost laugh at how ridiculous this shit is. Ok, so I find a place I’m ok with and low and behold there is yet again another issue. I’m not making this shit up. I couldn’t possibly. Takes me another 3 days to clear this up, which puts me now at damn near the day before I leave for Cali. I still have no dress for this wedding, haven’t picked a hairstyle nor have time to get my hair blown out, no shoes, so now what am I going to do? Fuck it, I will get all that done in Cali, focus woman! Housing first!

In the midst of all this a friend of mine has a friend looking for a roommate so I’m like fuck it why not it is only for a few months. OK I’m good to go, Cali here I come!! SIKE!!! No, now I find out to live with this girl my friend is friends with I have to fill out an application with the HOA and that process can take up to 30days. I’m just going to go play in traffic because this can’t be life. Ah but it can be and it’s my life. Ta da!!!

So since my current lease isn’t up until the 12^th I have to pay half a month of rent where I’m currently at and since it’s the last month you can’t pay online. So I call and verify what forms of payment are acceptable and I rush to the bank to get a check because again it is 2016 no one has a check book anymore. Ok so I get to the bank can’t find parking, with my suspended license and I am forced to park in a tow away zone but c’mon no one uses the bank anymore, so I should be in and out in 30 seconds flat. I’m good. Ahahhahaha seriously? I’m a fool. I walk into the bank and there is 1 man and 1 teller in there. Sweet!! I’m golden. Or not.

Dude pulled out a bag of change throw it on the counter and proceeds to count it to write it on his deposit slip. Nah c’mon. My jaw hit the floor. Don’t you know I’m in a tow away zone bro!!! Ughhh screw it will get a money order from Walmart. I’m out. I can’t afford to get towed today honey.  I leave head to Walmart…no I didn’t get towed. I get the money order and give it to my EX/ roommate to give the front office because I got things to do, like pack n go catch this flight. I pack in 32 seconds (not literally).

I’m now on my flight, slightly at peace. My application is in for this housing, rent is paid, bags packed oh and I somehow found a dress at Bloomingdales at the 13^th hour, on sale, for the wedding. Go ME!!! Hahahah no! I GOT COCKY. Life isn’t going to let me go that easy.

I slept most of the flight because yes you guessed it, I have not slept for real in about 2 weeks, and forgot to turn my phone off. As we are landing my phone is ringing and it’s my EX/roommate. The leasing office isn’t accepting a money order, it has to be a personal check or cashier’s check. Since the fuck when because 3 days ago it was ok. My feet haven’t even touched Cali soil and this is what is going down? Ok so apparently I’m the only competent person.  I call the people in the office 8 times. NO RESPONSE!! Omg fine. My EX/roommate tries to cash the check in their account and cut a check instead, but since I wrote on the money order to go to the housing people bank won’t let anyone other than them cash it. Fuck me.

Can this plane hit the ground yet though for real? The bank finally will let me cash the check back into my account and I quick pay the money to my roommate to cut the check. Ok I’m done. Lies! No the fuck I’m not.  Now by the time all this happens the leasing office is closed and it’s June 2^nd. Rent is considered late on the 3^rd mind you. The next day I’m thinking we are all good to go, and then I get a call about how my ex/roommates stuck in downtown Miami traffic and can’t get there to finally get these people the damn check. So once again I’m on the phone with the leasing office and after 45 mins of stern speaking and borderline yelling, they tell me ok we will waive the late fee since they are the reason they are not paid yet. Jeez thank you.  The rent now has until Saturday June 4^th  by 11am to be paid. Ok ex/roomie you got this.

Nope….come Saturday I get a call at 7am west coast time from my ex/roommate telling me now that since its late it can’t be a check it has to be a cashier’s check. Please tell me you’re fucking kidding. At this point I’m livid!! 5 fucking days to pay the rent? Serious housing people? I’ve never had to do so much to pay someone. Why? Now I’m done, I left this one to myex/roommate to handle because I’ve got nothing to offer anyone anymore. OH and today is the wedding and my hair still isn’t done. I’m throwing on a wig. I don’t wear wigs so I have no clue what I’m doing. Let me shorten this part of the story, my makeup was flawless, my dress and shoes were everything!!! My hair? Was a hot fucking mess. I am sooo embarrassed. Too late to give a crap though. Ok so let’s fast-forward a bit. I enjoyed the rest of my trip. Never got to view any apartments, but got a bombass Thai massage, the kind where they walk on your back. Thank God for small women with strong feet!!

Ok so now I head back to FL and as soon as I land reality hits. Bitch you still don’t have a place to live and your lease expires in 4 days. Ok now let’s panic. By the grace of God June 8^th I finally get an acceptance letter, but they raised the rent, and the deposit, and the term (length of lease) from 7 months to 12 months. Now im done. I sat at my desk at work and cried. I’m defeated. Like what else. Every corner is another issue. I call my confidant to calm me down, which she does and then I call my soon to be roommate since she owns this house. I’m like wait what this isn’t what we discussed. I’m damn near in tears again.

In about a second I’m going to pack my shit and go back to my mom because she brought me into this world so sorry honey you’re a lifelong liable to protect me from the outside forces. New roomie tells me it’s a mistake on behalf of the HOA, so ok peace be with me. Ok so now I fixed my license, oh the letter finally made it to my parents’ house, dad took it to my sister and she faxed it for me, ok handled. Well I hope so anyway. Good looking out pops.

Ok so license fixed (TBD), housing situated, ok bitch now go pack. Wait who is moving this stuff? Calls every mover damn near in the county and all booked for Saturday June 11^th, it’s June 9^th. No duh they are booked. Ok let me find someone looking for work, because that’s all I got now. The original movers wanted to charge me double for an extra 7 mins of driving to the new location, as opposed to the old one. Suck a dick bro! I just can’t win.

Thankfully my neighbors are amazing because my neighbor and some of his friends offer me a hand, thank god for this smile and charm he blessed me with. Ok so all set. I can drive again, thanks to my dad and sister, I have a place to live and my roommate is pretty dope!

Despite the many tears, high blood pressure, the heart attack I damn near had, the melt downs, the fits I threw, the drama, lost friendship (I’m not touching that this Storytime.) Despite it all I learned a valuable lesson. I can trust no one but my family with my life. My livelihood should never be placed in the hands of anyone other than myself, trust is very important and very fragile. I obviously knew this but never really believe dit until now but I also realized people aren’t who they claim to be, some people like to see you struggle, some even pray you do, but fuck y’all because God always has my back.

My rainy season has had tornadoes, monsoons, mudslide and I am still standing, I’m broken hearted, I’m still crying, but I’m still standing. Life took from me until it couldn’t take anymore. It tried to leave me with damn near with nothing, not even my sanity. I am humbled beyond measure, I cant find my way out of the darkness many days, and I am still seeking my purpose.

Now obviously this move to Cali isn’t happening in September because I’m locked in this 7 months lease, but maybe this is preventing me from further harm. I’m not convinced I’m supposed to be in FL either considering ever since I’ve been in FL my house was broken into, my car was totaled, my wrist was fractured, I got a new car and less than a week later my rims and tires were stolen, it took 2 weeks to fix that, and then all this extra stuff combined I’m pretty sure that’s a surefire way to push someone out.

Now despite taking every precaution, this is my real life. I lived in a gate community in an affluent area so one would think would keep the thieves out, which in theory should make sense, unless the thieves live within, which they did.

It’s time to voyage on, and find a home someplace else, maybe it won’t be here,  maybe it will or won’t be Cali, or NY, but the world is too big a place to feel stuck. My new mission….seeking home. Where ever that may be……