Lately I have had this conversation about intimacy and sex  with several friends and we can’t seem to get a general consensus of how we would define intimacy, so I figured I’d take some time and really dive into this topic and see what guys think.

For starters, most women agree that it is a common misconception that sex is defined as intimacy. Sex is the expression of intimacy. As a 28 year old in this dating world, it is hard to separate what I want ,versus what I need, to be satisfied, in every facet, of my life. For work, I know that I need more than just going in and doing the same mundane tasks day in and day out. I know for my relationships I have come to discover for me to be content I need communication, loyalty, respect, humor, comfort and safety. Honestly, without those things a relationship with me couldn’t survive.

So what do I consider intimacy? Holding hands, spending time picking each others brains? To me it’s the adventure of being emotionally close to your partner, about being able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner’s feelings, about being there when he/she wants to let their guard down.

Intimacy is a journey of discovery in a relationship.

Many people lay up with a man/woman who doesn’t even know his/her last name. As a woman I value myself enough to see what I have between my legs is sacred and shouldn’t be sacrificed for the sake of feeding my flesh, my spiritual need and emotional needs should be fed first. If you think that sex can strengthen an intimacy bond that wasn’t there to begin with, you are sadly mistaken.

I want to share my heart and my desires and needs before I share my body. Unfortunately as soon as I made this discovery I have found my dating pool quickly diminishing, but I trust that the man who isn’t scared of the love I have to give will deserve all the goodness I can bring to his soul and his body. Now let’s get this straight real quick! Woman who value themselves, or don’t put out quickly, doesn’t mean they are prude. What we have is just not for everyone to enjoy. Luxury brands don’t need broadcasting…I’m just saying!

If he doesn’t want to wait, then let that be his problem. You never cheapen your self worth for the sake of a man because once he gets “that thing” he will be over the chase anyway. While that may not be the case for all men, it has been the case of many. Value yourself enough to make him earn those deeper parts of you. You are worth it.